tuesday november 12th i went to see of montreal at the great american music hall. i'm not the biggest of montreal fan, and to be honest i was really only familiar with one of their songs. regardless, or irregardlessly as it might be, i had an awesome time. they put on an eccentric show with strange costumes and stage players that would either act out some type of scene or entertain the crowd. the opening band was some rap group called grand buffet. they were pretty funny, reminiscent of Hawd Gankstuh Rappuhs Emsees Wid Gats, but a little more well rehearsed and a lot more off the wall.
after a fit of dancing, my posse and i decided to go to the hemlock to enjoy a drink or two. this, as usual, ended in drinking tall cans and puffing tuffy outside the bar. as the bar closed we decided to hop into a cab. across the street, a homeless man was flagging a taxi while a car service car pulled up to give us a ride. for those from the east coast, while a car service sounds benign, they do not actually have medallions (as the other cabs do in s.f.) and they are viewed as the scumbags of the taxi service by other taxi drivers. the taxi driver flagged by the homeless man began yelling (in some obtuse accent), "don't get into that taxi, they are not insured!" i was like, "whatever." i take car services (or is it servi?) from the airport all the time and they are pretty well behaved. as we depart the block, describing to the car service our destination, the drive proceeds to take a left, contrary to the directions we had just provided. as i'm about to say something to the driver, he slams into a car driving approximately forty miles per hour launching my unseat belted ass into the passenger seat and my friends leg into the driver and passenger seat divider.
it took a moment to fully realize what had occurred. i've never been in an accident in a taxi in my life. being pretty old, one would think that it would have already happened. my friend and i got out of the cab to see the total destruction of the service car and the late nineties mustang we had collided with. it was at this point in time the obtuse accented taxi driver from before started yelling, "i told you so, you should never have gotten in that car!" no shit. not wanting to wait for the cops, we walked to the corner where taxi cabs started to accumulate to gawk at the accident. at this point, i realized the driver of the mustang was not wearing a seat belt, either, and had suffered a major concussion. the ambulance and cops were on their way there. we were on our way out. i know that fleeing a scene of crime is against the law, but there were plenty of witnesses and our lack of seat belts prevented us from filing suit. besides, we were relatively uninjured. we got in a cab and headed home, still in disbelief that that had even happened.
the next day, while riding the bus, a large sweaty black man got on carrying a microwave. he proceeded to tell us about the rats that hang out next to a wall (i forgot where, sorry) that crack addicts perch upon. when a crack head drops a rock, the rats run over and grab them and immediately gobble them down. he further established that the crack rats are so strung out that they refuse saltines and only eat crack. he claimed that he was going to get his camera and go down there and take pictures of the crack rats. but not before he goes home, smokes some hash and watches forrest gump. all of this in the middle of the week. my boss will be proud.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment